Suit of Armoire

Price An indeterminate amount of one's lifespan, spent driving to the magic item warehouse, navigating its labyrinthine corridors, and consuming meatballs. Also some gold.

This classic, timeless suit of +1 resilient full plate is personally assembled from modular pieces of flat-packed duskwood, doubling as furniture and personal protective gear. To wear or remove the suit of armoire, you must succeed at a check (yes, this includes the +10 modifier for an "Incredibly Difficult" challenge); on a failure, you and all creatures within must succeed at a save or be overcome with frustration at how you can't follow the simple, easy-to-understand diagrams for assembling the armoire, imposing a -1 status penalty to Will saves for 1 hour.

Activate 1 Interact; Once per day; You did not fail at the check to assemble the suit of armoire today

Effect You open a set of doors on the armoire's front, producing one fancy suit of clothes of your choosing.

Activate r Interact; An enemy hits or critically hits you with a Strike, or you fail or critically fail a Reflex save; You did fail the check to assemble the suit of armoire at least once today

Effect You forgot a peg or bolt when you were assembling the suit of armoire, causing it to collapse to pieces around you, though this shields you from harm. The triggering attack is a failure, or you succeed at your Reflex save. The suit of armoire falls apart around you into its constituent panels, leaving you unarmored.

Note: This item originates from the 2022 Paizo April Fools Blog post.